S*it my kids say...

Some days being a mom is absolutely exhausting and you want to crawl under a blanket, hide for 8-9 hours and take a break from the life you created.  It's usually right smack in the middle of one of these moments that one of my kids says or does something hilarious, profound or other wise amusing. I've gathered some of these statements and comments for your amusement.

1. "Mom if Grammy has a baby, it will be my grand cousin. Can you ask Grammy to have a baby?"

My 5 year old sweet boy said this a few weeks ago, I wrote it down and called my mom. I couldn't help but laugh, but the most funny thing about it was how incredibly serious he was.

2. "You're fat and you have a  beard."

My 7 year old when he was asked to describe my husband. Their words don't necessarily get nicer as they get older.

3. "You have two boobs and a agina to pee out of."

While taking a hike I attempted to discuss with my 7 year old how he could have better described his dad. I made the mistake of asking how he'd describe me. I had NO idea he knew much about vaginas or aginas until this day.  Now I know. I should also note that he doesn't have a problem pronouncing the word, he genuinely doesn't know that it starts with V.

4. "Mommy can you have another baby, I want a baby brother."

My 5 year old loves his siblings so much! He is always asking for more. I feel like saying to him, "hell no, do you hear the circus music playing in the background of our lives like we are some kind of freak show?" But his little face is so adorable and his soul is so sweet, I just tell him to ask his dad.

5. "You don't love me and you think I'm a jerk."

This is a fancy move my oldest pulls on the regular. He uses his fake tears and poor me words to try to win me over, to get me to feel bad. Well, he's got another thing coming! I wrote the book on manipulation...bam!

Side note: I have a friend who is a single mom to one cute little girl. She is devastated when her daughter says things like this or I hate you or whatever.  She is an old dear friend, but I kind of laugh to myself...sucka!

6. "I didn't play with the marker."

No, you're right, you didn't play with the marker. You effing ate the marker!

There is a whole lot more where this comes from, but this is the best for now.  Maybe just maybe, shit my kids say will become a Hockey Mom in Training series. You know you want it!