What was I thinking?

If you've been paying attention over the last month or so, you've noticed that I have three kids.  I wear it like a badge of honor. Not just because kids are all roses and sunshine, but because having three kids is effing hard. I know everyone has a threshold and we're all different and for some moms one is the limit or two.  But for me, I was shocked as shit when I realized that after having two kids, nothing had prepared me for the third one. NOTHING.

Maybe that's because my third is a girl and I was used to boys. Maybe that's because my third is the cutest little shit of a kid I've ever met. She was two weeks late, I was on bed rest for half of the pregnancy, she hated sleep from birth, she had to go to NICU, and she's becoming a diva toddler princess, despite my best efforts.  And, she's really smart, cute and we all adore her. She completes our little piece of the world. But, she's still a little shit.

But, I live in a world of mostly mom's of one or two, and they don't get it.  For the last two years I have felt like a crazed lunatic who can't keep up. And, my husband must agree because he tells everyone who even mentions having a third...NOOOO, don't do it, dude-3 is too hard.  I mean he's so vocal, I have to tell him to cool it, that people are going to think we hate our third kid or worse that she'll think it. He's always like, "no, I love her, but I mean seriously, 3 is too many."

Much to my delight the Today blog released some new information yesterday. In a study, they found that three is the most stressful number of children. Vindication. That's right folks, check the link. Three is the most stressful, even four isn't as stressful as three. Even Kate's 8 are less stressful than three-hahaha.

http://www.today.com/moms/mom-survey-says-three-most-stressful-number-kids-6C9774150

I don't just have three kids. I work in the fabulous, not so glamorous world of public relations (read no such thing as off time). My kids are into a sport every season including hockey (read year round-fit that in with other activities). My husband works nights and every Saturday (read holy fuck). So, we have three kids AND we're super busy.

So, to all my mom friends with the one kid who look at me like I'm a lunatic freak all the time. Yes, I get it, you're busy too, your kid is into lots of stuff. But, you have no idea what three is like, stop effing judging. When you see me and my family and think, what an idiot to have those three kids. When you think to yourself how much smarter you were to stop at one or two....you might be right. But, there is this thing I like to call the flip side. The flip side makes all the other shit worth it.

I took this pic when two of my kids were under the weather and one was teething. They're enjoying icepops in front of the TV a real Hockeymomintraining Treat.

The flip side is the bond that my kids have with one another. The flip side are the pig piles, fake wrestling matches, a big brother helping his little sister, little brother teaching big brother and three times the kisses, hugs and super awesome homemade mom gifts.  Yes, circus music is my family theme song. You might not get it, but I love the crazy and the chaos.

S*it my kids say...

Some days being a mom is absolutely exhausting and you want to crawl under a blanket, hide for 8-9 hours and take a break from the life you created.  It's usually right smack in the middle of one of these moments that one of my kids says or does something hilarious, profound or other wise amusing. I've gathered some of these statements and comments for your amusement.

1. "Mom if Grammy has a baby, it will be my grand cousin. Can you ask Grammy to have a baby?"

My 5 year old sweet boy said this a few weeks ago, I wrote it down and called my mom. I couldn't help but laugh, but the most funny thing about it was how incredibly serious he was.

2. "You're fat and you have a  beard."

My 7 year old when he was asked to describe my husband. Their words don't necessarily get nicer as they get older.

3. "You have two boobs and a agina to pee out of."

While taking a hike I attempted to discuss with my 7 year old how he could have better described his dad. I made the mistake of asking how he'd describe me. I had NO idea he knew much about vaginas or aginas until this day.  Now I know. I should also note that he doesn't have a problem pronouncing the word, he genuinely doesn't know that it starts with V.

4. "Mommy can you have another baby, I want a baby brother."

My 5 year old loves his siblings so much! He is always asking for more. I feel like saying to him, "hell no, do you hear the circus music playing in the background of our lives like we are some kind of freak show?" But his little face is so adorable and his soul is so sweet, I just tell him to ask his dad.

5. "You don't love me and you think I'm a jerk."

This is a fancy move my oldest pulls on the regular. He uses his fake tears and poor me words to try to win me over, to get me to feel bad. Well, he's got another thing coming! I wrote the book on manipulation...bam!

Side note: I have a friend who is a single mom to one cute little girl. She is devastated when her daughter says things like this or I hate you or whatever.  She is an old dear friend, but I kind of laugh to myself...sucka!

6. "I didn't play with the marker."

No, you're right, you didn't play with the marker. You effing ate the marker!

There is a whole lot more where this comes from, but this is the best for now.  Maybe just maybe, shit my kids say will become a Hockey Mom in Training series. You know you want it!

Liebster Award

Thank you Two Bored Housewives for giving me the Liebster Award - an award for upcoming bloggers with less than 200 followers and for who someone believes deserve some recognition for their blogging. Cute!

**Here are the details on receiving this award**

1. Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions that the nominator set for you plus create 11 questions for the people you’ve nominated to answer.

11 Random Facts about Hockey Mom in Training

1. I love vinegar, that is probably why I'm so sour:)

2. I swear too much.

3. I actually have a real job in PR that I love very much.

4. I love gigantic sun glasses and I won't appologize for it.

5. I dreamt of a career my entire life and never thought about kids and a husband...I'm so glad to have the best of both worlds.

6. I love hockey and I love to watch my kids play but I admit that I often have no idea what specific hockey terms mean.

7. I don't understand how some hockey moms have time to look like a perfect 10 at 6am at a freezing cold ice arena.

8. I have had the same two friends since 6th grade, I adore them and we don't get to see nearly enough of eachother.

9. I met my husband when I was 18.

10. I question my sanity almost every day.

11. I can count to 10 in Japanese.

11 Questions for Hockey Mom in Training

1. What motivated you to start blogging?

I had so much to say and no one to tell it to. My kids are hilarious and I figured I ought to commemorate that somewhere. I also use to be a great writer, until I got out of college and had to write "business style" for a living. I adore writing freestyle and I wanted to get back to writing for me.

2. What does your blog name mean?

I'm a hockey mom and I love being a hockey mom. They also play football, baseball and other sports in between. They're driven by athletics in general. But they really have a passion for hockey and it makes my heart smile to see them so driven about something. 

It's interesting to be a hockey mom. The other hockey moms are also passionate about being a hockey mom, they're a fiery bunch. Sometimes I fit in and sometimes I don't. I'm not sure I'm like them, I probably never will be. But I'm along for the ride. I always say a mom's job is always in training to be a better mom, the best mom. I feel the same way being a hockey mom. I'll never know it all. I'll always be in training.

3. What are your writing habits?

Well, let's just say they're nothing to write about. I write when something strikes me. I figuratively write when I'm in the shower. Sometimes the kids will say or do something and it leads me to a thought I know I HAVE to write about. Today, the tragedy in Boston inspired me to write and it probably will again. 

4. What advice would you give a new mother? 

Don't listen to my advice or the advice of anyone else. Sometimes advice is well meaning, but often it's not. Every one has a different experience. Live yours. Do you. Love your kids and it will all work itself out.

5. What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV show?

This is a little embarrassing. I watch some pretty mindless, trash TV!  I watch all of the Real Housewives of... My husband hates it and I always watch in horror.  I also watch shit like Teen Mom. Don't hate.

6. What 3 things do you need to you through the day?

My smart phone, Diet Pepsi and ibuprofen. Again, I know Diet Pepsi is eating my insides and you're not supposed to take ibuprofen every day, don't hate.

7. Favorite Holiday and why?

Thanksgiving. I host and I love to cook for my family and make my house pretty and all warm and cozy. There is also no gift pressure, I like that.

8. If you had to choose 1 celebrity to be stranded on a deserted island with whom would it be and why?

I'm weird and not that into celebrity. I'd like to be stranded on a deserted island with my husband, so it wasn't all awkward and I could just chill and be deserted.

9. What are the best 5 words to describe you?

Amazing, Funny, Awesome, Mom, Wife. I was asked a question...I'm all of those things...hahahaha.

10. What's on top of your bucket list?

I so have been meaning to make a bucket list.

11. Drink of choice and why?

I've already mentioned that I need Diet Pepsi on the daily. But, I LOVE a good margarita.  If I knew why I was addicted to the DP I would probably quit. And Margs are just yummy and you get a good buzz pretty quick:)

The world isn’t all bad…

The recent tragedy in Boston has hit the nation pretty hard. I find myself hiding from social media in some cases and drawn to it for information in others. I can’t bear to watch the news most of the time.

I have thought back to the tragic events of 9.11 many times in the last several days. I’m so grateful that I was young and carefree in those days and didn't have to explain that to my children. But, I won’t escape that this time.

We live just a few hours north of the City of Boston. We love that city, my kids can relate to that city. It’s where they saw their first Sox-Yanks game, went to the “big aquarium”, cheered for their beloved Bruins and my youngest first fell in love with the idea of the duck boat.  So, when they hear about a tragedy in Boston they pay attention.

The photo on the left is my oldest son's first Sox-Yanks game and the right his first Bruin's game. Boston Proud!

I was forced to tell them that something had happened to one of their favorite cities on Monday night.  “Mom the Bruins game starts soon, I have to make sure I know the score to tell Dad when he gets home,” said my oldest. 

“Ummm, there was some kind of accident, they had to postpone the game,” I said.

These kids are hockey kids. They know you don’t just cancel a game for no reason. They begged to turn on the TV, to call their dad. They wanted to know what happened.  I couldn’t let them see the tragedy unfold, I couldn’t let them see that horror and I had heard rumors that a sweet little boy was one of the victims that didn’t survive.

I couldn’t let my kids see that tragedy had happened to someone so small, someone so close to their age. Especially in light of the fact that my son had just experienced a similar tragedy so close to home.

I wrote in my blog a month or so ago about a tragedy in our home town. One of my son’s classmates passed away after a very tragic accident. Breaking that news to my kids and the ensuing emotions and confusion were so difficult for him, and for our community. In the past week he’d had a hard time understanding the difference between his classmate not returning to school and his teacher being on maternity leave. A lot of confusing emotion for a 7 and 5 year old to process so close to home. For them see tragedy on television would create more confusion and perhaps fear.

Here I am today, confused as an adult. Watching the City of Boston on complete lockdown, this city that has been home to such happiness for me and my family, is scary and confusing for sure. I sat in silence after my alarm went off this morning as I watched a family and their young children escorted out of their home in their pajamas. I felt sorry for them, yet grateful that my little girl was cooing in the next room and that my boys were both enjoying April Vacation sleepovers with friends.

Again, social media plays a role in my roller coaster of emotions. I see people commenting on news feeds-‘what is this world coming to?’-‘what a horrible world we live in’-‘what an awful time in which to raise our children’. 

I suppose it’s difficult not to think or say these things when we’re watching an unprecedented man-hunt through the streets of one of America’s major cities.

Throughout the week, though, I’ve had to switch that mindset. Because if I really look around and take in what I’m hearing, reading, seeing. There are some truly amazing things taking place. Without a doubt, humanity at its very best, has been on display this week.

Runners, by-standers, first responders, pro-athletes-young and old have come together. They’ve helped one another in ways big and small. Hearts, minds, prayers have all been sent out to the victims of this terrible tragedy.

I’ve heard people say that it takes a tragedy to make this goodwill a reality. I challenge that. Goodwill is around us every day, everywhere you go. Tragedy makes us keenly aware. But, it’s always there.

My community has rallied with one another during and after our recent tragedy and we’ll continue to do so. It’s a memory, a feeling that we’ll always share.  The take-away is that there is goodness alive and well-ALWAYS.

I know that my kids are growing up in a different world then I did, certainly. 24-hour news media, social media and cell phones make scary images and news feeds of tragedy much more accessible and it’s definitely more difficult for parents to filter that information. It’s something that we have to learn to navigate as parents, for sure.

But, there really are some really amazing people in this world, in America, in Boston and in my hometown.  My children will have opportunities to reach more people and touch more people than I have in my lifetime. They will do good things and they will have good things done for them.

My faith in humanity is still strong.

I found this terrific quote today and it’s something that I will share with my family tonight. I hope you will too.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

Mahatma Gandhi

Photo Courtesy: Reuters
Boston Strong

Don't be such a bitch!

Yep, that's right...don't be such a bitch!  Sure, I could have titled this "Just be nice", or something a bit less offensive.  But at some point we all have an encounter and think, don't be such a bitch!

The world would be a much better place if we just said "don't be such a bitch" to the well-meaning bitches that we deal with every day. Being kind will actually get you to where you're going much faster than being a bitch.

Over the course of a month, I encounter several different types of bitches.  Allow me to lay the bitch types out for you.

1. Volunteer Board Bitch:
This bitch comes in many different forms.  Maybe he/she is one a professional board, a non-profit board or...gasp...the PTO/PTA.  No matter how quickly you work, how many hours you put in, it will NEVER be enough.  They talk down to you, while placing themselves on a soap box.  They are the type that send an email requesting you to do something on one day and the next say, "what is taking so long for you to do this?"  What I'd like to say "Oh, you know a 50+ hour a week job, the three kids, husband, two cats, two dogs and the three other boards I sit on."

2. Work Bitch:
This bitch is always busier than anyone else. They are too busy to say anything with a smile, to say please or thank you or to join in any of the office "reindeer games".

3. Family Bitch: 
We ALL know this bitch, it could be your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma-hell-it could even be you. I tend to be a pretty kind person, but admittedly, I can be this type of bitch every once in a while. This is the bitch in your family that never offers to help but always gives advice. This is the bitch that comes to the BBQ empty handed, tells you your house is a mess, asks if you're running behind while your three kids run circles around you while you make last minute preparations, and then says they don't like the cake you served.  You love them because they're family, but they're the reason you need pills and margaritas.

How does this translate to my hockey mom duties?  Hockey and all of the other sports they play are expensive and time consuming.  They also bring great joy, better behaved boys, new friends and amazing memories. I'm willing to trade the long hours and money spent for their kindness.  That's it. If my children learn just that, I'm good.  Of course, it's not possible to live an entire life without being a bitch.  I just want them to learn that kindness is important, that it will get you places in life.

I started signing my kids cards with "be kind" last year.  I'm not sure why, maybe I had encountered one too many bitches that week.  Whatever the reason, I liked it, and it stuck.  They're not kind everyday, but their hearts are good and they mean well. When they aren't kind, it's usually to me, their dad or a sibling.  I use those moments to teach them about kindness and how next time they can make better choices, use different words.

That's right folks-hockey mom in training-making the world a less bitchy place-three kids at a time.

The little things...

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a tragedy that struck too close to home.  A boy in my son's first grade class died in a horrible accident.  It's been difficult over the last couple of weeks to write about much, especially about the funny, obnoxious or annoying things about being a hockey mom or just a mom in general.

When someone just down the road is experiencing the unimaginable grief of losing a child, it seems trivial and unnatural to try to write something witty about the life I'm living. Because, at the end of the day, even with all the mess, frenzy and silliness, my life is nothing short of amazing.

Finally, last night, after a couple of weeks of just feeling sad, I got the itch to write something and it still didn't seem right to pen something about the smell permeating from my kids hockey bag.  As I thought about what I wanted to write, I became very aware of what was happening around me and what I'd want to share with my millions of followers (insert crazy laugh here).

What I thought about were the little things that make me a mom in training, because after all that is what this is about really.  I could be a hockey mom, a dance mom, a music mom and I'd still be learning as  I go, no matter how many kids I have or how much they've grown.

Here are the top 10 things that are awesome about my everyday...

1. Children's belly laughs are the absolute best.

2. Cereal for supper doesn't make you a bad mom. It's basically nutritious, kids love it and they will probably remember how cool it was that their mom let them eat cereal that one time.  Bonus: I get to spend the 30 minutes that I would have spent on supper enjoying their company.

3. Dinner time in general is the best part of a week day.  We go around the table and say our peak and pit of the day, we've done it since our oldest was three or so. He loves it and so do we. It's one of the only times we slow down, sit down and just enjoy those few moments to talk about nothing in particular. You never know what they're going to come up with and you learn a lot about your kids in that brief moment where they express themselves freely.

4. Things kids say when they're 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 are precious. This certainly comes as a shock to no one, but it's worth remembering. No matter how silly they seem at the time, record and cherish those memories. Some day they will certainly know more than you and they might not share as much.

5. You always have time for a hug. Even when there is laundry to be done, dishes to wash and floors to sweep-a hug takes 5 seconds-hug them back.

6. Overhearing the stories your kids tell each other in the back seat is a window into their little souls. They say things to one another that they would never say to me or their dad. They teach each other what they know about life. It's innocent and sweet and it makes all of the times they chase each other around threatening to hit one another with a hockey stick worth it.

7. Staying up 20 minutes past bed-time to catch a few minutes of a hockey game, a favorite tv show or read a book isn't a tragedy. Should they go to bed on time? Yes. Can those memories made by having special time with their parents be worth it? Without a doubt!

8. It's okay to cry in front of your children. I've cried a bit in the last couple of weeks. I've cried thinking about the grief of others, I've cried at a loss to our community, I've cried at the fleeting thought of experiencing a similar tragedy.  It's important that your kids know you're strong, but they should also know you're human.

9. Dancing with your kids with no one else around is better than a margarita. It's amazing how free you feel when you just get silly with your kids. It lets them know that they can trust you to be both their rock and to be fun and carefree. I love margaritas, but crazy dancing, definitely wins.

10. Children arguing isn't really so bad. I have three kids and we drive a honda civic. Any mom whose ever driven any distance with three kids side-by-side in a car knows where I'm going with this. They do nothing but bicker, poke each other, and get downright ridiculous in the back seat.  There have been times when I have wished somebody would throw mama from the civic. These past few weeks I've thought about the parents that wish they could hear their kids bickering for just a moment more, and suddenly I've learned to appreciate it.  Sure, give me another few months, and I'll hate it all over again, but for now...priceless.

These are just my completely random thoughts about how much I really love my life. Love my kids. Love my husband.  I even love the crazy, just a little bit.

Hockey Mom Does Couch 2 5K

This was our first hockey-free weekend (HFW) since September 2012.  We probably have less than 10 totally HFW's each year.  The strange thing about it is, I miss hockey.

I imagine all season what I would do without hockey for a weekend. I imagine a sparkling clean house, slaving over hot meals, quietly reading stories by the fire.

REALITY.  I have a crap-ton of errands to run, the kids are going stir crazy, there is still freaking snow on the ground and the week we just had was so profoundly awful that no one was ready to stay home and get down to the business of life without hockey.

My oldest is dying to start a "training regimen".  His words-not mine.  In the midst of a hockey-fueled fog, I told him that he and I could train to run a 5k together.  So, this weekend, we began our C25K (couch to 5K ) training regimen.

The whole fam, including hubs and all three kids went out to begin our first day of training.  We strapped Ally in her stroller and began our "easy" first day of training. Fast-forward to half way through, my 5 year old bites it on the tar, rolls into a snow bank.  I had to run (I use the term loosely) back to get him.  Even my 7 year old was complaining that he was tired by the end of it. I don't think he was tired, but bored.  Yeah, I guess taking the whole puck whizzing by your head thing out of the picture and physical activity isn't nearly as fun.

Our next day of training is Wednesday.  Let's see if the whole fam makes it through that one:)

Heartbreak

One of the most difficult things about parenting is the moment when you lose control over their environment.  When you're powerless to stop the pain they feel, unable to hit the rewind button and can only hold their trembling little body while they sob into your chest.

This week, our community experienced the unimaginable.  A boy is my oldest son's first grade class was killed in a tragic accident. My heart hurts for my own kiddo, all of the little boys and girls in his class, the teachers at school, and most of all for that sweet boy's parents.

My husband and I shared the devastating news with our 7 year old and he cried and cried.  Then he asked simply "can I go play outside?". And he did, he played all by himself for a solid 45 minutes.  When he finally came inside, he asked some pretty matter of fact questions.

We're so fortunate to live in such a small, tightly woven community.  The children at school made cards, took photos and hung colorful messages to the little boy on a white birch on the playground.  I think it was a healing process for my little guy.

He told my mom last night that his little friend wasn't at school that day and that he wouldn't be there on Monday either.  It makes you wonder, how much is his little 7 year old mind capable of comprehending.  That little piece of innocence is forever gone for all of the children that this boy touched.  His sweet, playful memory will live on forever, and plans are being made to memorialize his life.

This tragedy has forced me to reflect on my life in a new way.  This weekend, I'm going to check my work email a little less, and take a few more walks with my kids.  I plan to focus a ton on the laughter in the backseat and less on the traffic around me.

Photo Courtesy: Sun Journal

Always a hockey mom in training...

It's not easy being a hockey mom.  I'm not complaining, I'm just stating the facts.  It's a smelly, gas hogging, tireless, mostly thankless job.  This blog is meant to portray the good, the bad, the ugly and the funny that is being a hockey mom (or dad) in training.

I have three kids, a Mite, a Mini-Mite (both boys) and a 20 month old little angel who hates watching her brothers play hockey.

This is her exhibiting how much she hates watching hockey (imagine flailing legs, loud screeching sounds and crocodile tears).

I'd like to think that her protests are a hint at things to come, you know her not playing hockey.  But, my hopes are dashed every. single. night when she joins her brothers in a game of living room hockey.  Expensive television, be damned.

Hockey has always been my favorite sport, I played field hockey in high school.  I never caught the bug early enough to get really good at it.  Our family became hockey addicts in 2004 when our hometown got a QMJHL Hockey team.  My oldest son attended his first hockey game at the tender age of 5 days old, my youngest son was just 3 days old.  Yes, it's sick, I know.

Fast forward to now.  My oldest son has aspirations of making the USA Hockey Team.  Yes, it's a VERY long shot, but if he's willing to work toward a goal at the tender age of 7...GO FOR IT!  This is where our very long journey of hockey mom training begins.  

This summer he plans to get a trainer to develop speed and accuracy, his words, not mine, not my husbands.  He shoots from dawn to dusk, much to the chagrin of several windows, garage doors, siding. I will keep you posted on the progress.

For now, I must go disinfect some gear and get it ready for the four week hiatus.  Heaven help my sense of smell.